All of this has happened before

Christmas has been lovely! The kids woke me up and we watched them open their many presents, then us adults opened ours. I got Professor Layton and the Curious Village, a lovely new top, some bath stuff from Lush and a Lego Star Wars alarm clock. :D I also got a lucky cat that talks, even if it only speaks Japanese. :D It is adorable. I also got a bit of money and some giftcards, so a trip to HMV is in my future! After, I set up the lads' Leg stuff (mam hates doing Lego), and we played on the Michael Jackson dancing game.

We went to Stepdad's parents for dinner, and had an absolutely lovely Christmas dinner. Then we came home and played about some more. Then I decided to call dad.

Dad has decided we are not visiting nannan because it doesn't suit him. He doesn't feel like having a family sit down with his mother, God only knows why. And then he expected me to go to his house with my little sister and go fishing. Neither of us enjoy fishing.

This is Dad all over. He acts like we're dolls to be picked up at his convienience. Christmas is about the kids, and while I can cope with the crap he puts me through, Sis the Second deserves better. This is the reason she doesn't want to see him.

I feel like a bad sister for refusing to go with him, because she needs someone there to take care of her. But I can't keep putting up with him, it's killing me. And her mother decided whether to send her with him or not. *guilty*

Anyway, fuck him, it's Christmas.

So I turned 20 yesterday. Still don't feel any different. My day started awesomely, with a random hug in the middle of the night from my little brother, who just came in, gave me a hug and went back to bed. :D He is the cutest thing.

Had a nice time listening to cheesy music and dossing about on the net, where I discovered that timidfox bought me paid time! *bounces* Oh, the icons I shall have! Anyway, then I picked the kids up and taught Thing 1 how to play Sevens (like Blackjack, but different power cards). It was nice. :)

The crap started when we picked Stepdad Tosspot up. He wouldn't quit complaining the whole way there, and he got really arsey when I asked him to play nice. I almost just caught the train home then. We had to watch what he wanted, on my birthday, because I was intruding on their plans. I ended up getting the tickets because I work at the cinema, which is fair enough, but I also got the food, and didn't get to watch what I wanted. I ended up just walking out and coming home.

Thank god for my flatmate. wonderm , you are a goddess. When I got in the living room was full of balloons and party food and we sat down and had a chat and ate sweets. :D Then I checked the net and saw taekarado had written me a fic.

So, yeah, I just wanna say thank you to you all for being amazing and making my birthday so much better than it would have been. I love you guys. *group hug*

God, I've just nearly had a heart attack.

( worry worry worry )

day 04 → your favourite book

My favourite book is probably Sabriel by Garth Nix. It has an awesome heroine who uses magic, a snarky cat sidekick who really wants to kill her, and a prince who's been a ship's figurehead for two hundred years. Oh, did I mention the Undead hordes? This book is fucking awesome, and is the first part in a trilogy that is also fucking awesome. The world is well built, the characters are believable, and the plot is compelling. A+.

EDIT: Grandad's fine now, Uncle II checked on him.

So, I came out as an asexual today, to my mam. Because she is awesome, she took it wonderfully, and has been lovely to me, and left me on the verge of tears in relief.

I love my mother all the time, but it's times like these that make me realise how lucky I am to have the BEST DAMN MOTHER in the whole wide world.

PS: Tried telling my dad, but he didn't believe me. Arse.

Oh, I didn't write about my holiday, did I?

Amsterdam was nice, but we were about an hour away from the city centre, and Dad insisted we walk, so understandably, we were pissed. This culminated with an hour and a half's walk back from the pub at half one in the morning, in a foreign city where I don't know the language. Dad was drunk, and after we stopped talking 'cause we were tired, he reverted to self pity, which ended with an argument that went something like this:

Dad: I just feel like the worst father in the world. (For like the fortieth time that night)
Me: Enough! I don't have the energy to deal with your ego. I'm tired, i'm cold, I'm scared and my feet hurt because we got lost. Don't say you feel bad twenty times; say it once and then fix it.( Jesus, that sounds awful when I type it back)
(ten minutes later)
Dad : You shouldn't pretend to be thirty, Keeva, It doesn't suit you.
Me: If you're gonna act like a teenager, then someone has to be grown up.

This is basically how every interaction with my father has gone since I was fourteen. I know I'm not the world's best daughter, and I know  I'm selfish and rude at times, but he's the parent and I'm not supposed to be looking after him. I spent years trying to please him and he never gave a damn, but now I've had it, and he comes crawling after me, wanting to be my best friend? Fuck that for a game of soilders.