CRACK!!!

Mar. 12th, 2009 05:40 pm
keevacaereni: (Default)
[personal profile] keevacaereni

Here it is! One of our great works!

Title: She's Not A Mary Sue, Honest
Authors: [livejournal.com profile] flwrpwr_vampyre and [livejournal.com profile] keevacaereni 
Rating: R, I guess?
Warnings: Het sex, Mary Sue
Summary: All Rorschach needs is the right woman
A/N: So, [livejournal.com profile] mirai_gohan challenged her flist to write her a Watchmen bad!fic. This is the result. Yeah, I was crazy, but we're fine now.

 

Tiffany Amber Darkholme was walking home in the dark from Hot Topic.

 

She wasn't at all startled when Rorschach jumped down in front of her. In fact she was excited, her violet eyes lighting up in delight. She'd always wanted to meet this man, he was so much like her!


She like totally understood pain, because her dad was mean and wouldn’t let her go out drinking at night with her friends. She did anyway though, lol.

 

She gazed up at the infamous mask from her tiny height of 5 foot nothing. She had complained about it before but now knowing that she could make Rorschach feel tall and manly she loved it. The mask changed and she caught her breath, it looked like two lips touching and she wondered if he was thinking the same thing she was.

 

Her perfectly made up eyes (with lots of mascara) looked downwards, past his manly arms and chest and further down to his manhood. The passion that filled her was overwhelming.

He lifted up his mask and her gaze flew upwards as her rosebud shaped lips formed an O of surprise. Suddenly she noticed that he was breathing heavily too and she tingled with the knowledge that he wanted her just as badly.

"Hi, I'm Tiffany Amber but my friends call me Mary Sue. Uh, pleased to meet you!"

Oh God! She sounded like such an idiot! He wouldn't like her al all now. What was she going to do?

Tears filled her eyes, pooling over and spilling down her perfectly smooth cheeks. Suddenly she was enveloped in a hug, his strong arms wrapping around her. She snuggled into him as she wept. He smelled so good, he was like some shining knight come to rescue her from her dull life and take her away. She never wanted him to let go.

He pulled back slightly so he could stoke her cheek, fingers gentle and kind.

 

She gazed up to where his eyes would be if she could see them and mirrored his movements breathlessly. His stubble scratched against her soft fingertips and she couldn't believe her dreams, her fantasies were coming true.

 

She moved her hands down to his throat, slowly untying his scarf and a few buttons on his trench coat. She ran her fingertips over his Adam’s apple and felt him gulp. He grabbed her hand and gently sucked her fingers until she gasped.

 

She went weak in the knees, would have fallen if he didn't catch her and pick her up. Her legs, perfectly smooth and a pale white, wrapped around his waist. She could feel his bulging erection against her hello kitty panties.

 

Wait, what was she doing? About to have sex in an alley with, okay yeah, the hottest man alive except for Adrian Veidt. Good girls didn't do stuff like this!

Aw who cares, she thought as she slid down her pants and braced against the wall.

Lucky for both of them she wasn't a good girl. She thrust her behind out behind her and gasped as he smacked it. How had he known that she had a spanking thing?

 

She moaned as he sped up, the rhythm of his thrusts matching the rhythm of his spanking. Neither of them were going to last long-he was too desperate and she was too good.

 

She orgasmed without him even touching her, just like a woman should. Just his penis was enough for her.

 

He came a few moments later, filling her to the brim. She slid down the wall, gasping with pleasure.

They walked to his house together, where he held the door open for her and let her babble excitedly about redecorating.

 

She wrinkled her cute button nose at how drab the place was and resolved to get curtains.

They were going to live happily ever after and he chuckled when she sighed this out loud.

 

"Oh Rory" She sighed. "I love you so much it's almost unbelievable!"

"I love you too" He said.

 

THE END.

 


(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-12 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] filthe.livejournal.com
/gag

Oh man,that was almost TOO good.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-12 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Thank you! We had fun writing it.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-12 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crumblybits.livejournal.com
The first line says it all. But "She could feel his bulging erection against her hello kitty panties" made me snicker energetically enough to dump oatmeal on my cat. Really. *applause*

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-12 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Oh, I know. That was the point of it. ;)

I wish I could take credit for the hello kitty line though, that was all flwrpwr_vampyre's idea.

Thanks for reading!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-12 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nera-fiore.livejournal.com
I LOL'd a lot. I think the part about soft fingertips and stubble was the icing on the cake.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-12 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Again, I think that was flwrpwr_vampyre's doing. Hurm, she seems to be writing all the best stuff. Must try harder.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-13 01:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] truwest.livejournal.com
Frighteningly similar to -- well, a lot of stuff. :-P Too funny.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-13 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Hey, I know you! You comment at anshins fic too!

Dear God, the stuff that's on FF.net. All Rorschach needs is a cute teenager to fix him! Honest!

Thank you for reading, and saying it was funny!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-13 07:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] truwest.livejournal.com
Yup, that's me! I've been surfing around looking for good/entertaining Watchmen fic in the aftermath of the movie.

>>>the stuff that's on FF.net. All Rorschach needs is a cute teenager to fix him!<<<

Yeah, no kidding. :-P I do read over on FF.net -- there's some very good stuff there, but it's needles in a very large haystack. I admit to being somewhat mystified w/ all the Rorschach luv, but I guess it makes sense -- alienated anti-hero w/ tortured past = catnip to (some) fangirls.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-13 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] orangesparks.livejournal.com
my favorite parts:

She like totally understood pain, because her dad was mean and wouldn’t let her go out drinking at night with her friends. She did anyway though, lol.

and

He smelled so good

Ahahahaha, I love you forever.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-15 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Yay, I am loved!!

Unfortunately I can only claim the pain sentence, but I'm glad you liked it!

Cheers for reading!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-14 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sephirothflame.livejournal.com
lol, this is made all the more awesome because it's so not Rorschach. Sex in an alley? xD Rorschach complains about that kind of behaviour! This must be a vry spcl girl in-deed.

Fave line is She wrinkled her cute button nose at how drab the place was and resolved to get curtains.

lol. Curtains.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-15 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Lol it's definitely not Rorschach. The worst thing is I've read stories like this that were serious!

Thanks for reading!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-29 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elle-vee.livejournal.com
I want to read the sequel, where they get their wedding gifts at Hot Topic* and she gets pregnant and has a baby, and name it Twilight and Rorschach becomes a kindergarten teacher*. CURTAINS. YES. THAT IS ALL RORSCHACH NEEDS TO CURE HIS VARIOUS EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL COLORS. HIS APARTMENT LACKS FLAIR.

* ignoring of course that I have quite a bit of 'Watchmen' merchandise from Hot Topic. stop JUDGING me. My Watchmen hoodie is glorious.

* This would actually be kind of awesome - especially the time-outs

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-30 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Argh, this character will eat my brain if I attempt her again. That may not be a great loss though..

HE SHOULD TOTALLY BE A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER. HE COULD TEACH THEM HOW TO PRODUCE INFORMATION. WITH LITTLE FINGERS.

ALSO, CURTAINS FIX EVERYTHING.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-30 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elle-vee.livejournal.com
'Mr. Rorschach, Timmy took my ice cream cone!'
'Timmy. Elevator shaft.'
'I'm sorry! I won't do it again.'
'Apology useless. Elevator shaft.'
'But he started it.'
'Hurm. Compelling argument. Your choice - broken fingers, or elevator shaft.'
'Can we still play at recess?'
'...Yes.'

CURTAINS CURE CRAZY - SPREAD THE WORD.


(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-30 10:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

I LOL'D.

LACY, GENTLY WAFTING CURTAINS ESPECIALLY.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-03-31 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elle-vee.livejournal.com
With hearts embroidered in them!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-06-18 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tehprincessj.livejournal.com
You had me LOL-ing from the very 1st line.

Well done. <3

(no subject)

Date: 2009-06-18 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keevacaereni.livejournal.com
Yay, thank you!

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