Honestly.

[keevacaereni]

I have a friend who kind of fancies me, and he has for a while. We tried to go out but it was just too awkward, and now we chat a lot.

He's just messaged me wondering why all the girls he likes have problems. D: I'm trying not to be offended but really. Apparently there's a woman at his LARP thing that likes him, but she's married. Her husband and her have an open relationship, but my friend is weirded out.

Just...WTF. o_O You cannot start a conversation like that and expect me to be on your side!

Comments

[freya-sacksen.livejournal.com]

He's just messaged me wondering why all the girls he likes have problems. D: I'm trying not to be offended but really. Apparently there's a woman at his LARP thing that likes him, but she's married. Her husband and her have an open relationship, but my friend is weirded out.
You sure he didn't mean 'girls who like me' rather than 'girls he likes'? Because he might have just screwed up his wording and assumed you would understand what he meant.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

The way it was worded, he definitely meant girls he likes, and he went on to discuss the breadth of the "problems" they have, including my particular thing. >:(

[freya-sacksen.livejournal.com]

...oh dear.

Knowing neither your particular problem nor really the personality of the bloke in question, my only explanation is that he was trying to tease you and failed horrifically.

Or he's just an asshole who's still hurt that he hasn't really got you. That works, too.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

My thing is that I'm asexual, and really couldn't handle being in a relationship at that point. I think he was joking, which I wouldn't mind, but it upsets me to have people refer to my lack of a sexual orientation as a problem, as you can probably tell. :) It makes me feel broken.

If he'd said that he keeps picking the wrong girls, or people who aren't interested, I wouldn't care, but this upsets me, especially when he's the one who seems to have a problem with the married woman.

*tl;dr*

[freya-sacksen.livejournal.com]

My thing is that I'm asexual, and really couldn't handle being in a relationship at that point. I think he was joking, which I wouldn't mind, but it upsets me to have people refer to my lack of a sexual orientation as a problem, as you can probably tell. :) It makes me feel broken.
Oh, I fully know what you mean. I came across so many girls who just suffered through the label 'epileptic'. I was lucky in that the only people who really found out were people in my form, who already knew me as me, rather than the epileptic girl in class 9PT.

But I fully get where you're coming from.

Really, just tell him he's being an ass and you don't appreciate being made to feel broken. He might freak out a bit, feeling that you're accusing him of something, but just be gentle. Men are fragile, delicate creatures with egos as tough as spun sugar. You have to be careful with them.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Well, he's already gone to bed, but if he does it again I fully plan on telling him.

Men are fragile, delicate creatures with egos as tough as spun sugar.
Lol. :D I wish I could remember who compared men to being like deer: you have to approach softly and speak gently, or they run a mile.

Thanks a lot for the advice, and for listening-LJ might be for rants but it's always nice to have someone to rant to. :)

[freya-sacksen.livejournal.com]

I think I have become an unofficial adviser for basically all my friends on LJ. :-D Like an Agony Aunt, only more personal. And I write fanfiction.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

All the best Agony Aunts do. XD