Ganked from anactoria, for a change

[keevacaereni]

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

Comments

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

She doesn’t remember on purpose. It gets to her, sometimes, when she’s had a hard night and Critic’s acting up, when Film Brain is back at his home and can’t be there to brighten the room with his awkwardness. Tonight’s been one of those nights, and the whiskey’s hitting a little bit harder than usual and so it gets to her, needling away at her heart like that one splinter you can’t ever get to.

Oh, run-on sentences, how do I love thee, let me count the ways...

Obviously, this was for you, and I know you like your angst. :P I think Chick doesn't like to think about Nella much, but obviously, some nights just get you down.

She gets back to her apartment in the dingy light of dawn and the lock on the door is broken. When she checks the mattress the money is gone and it’s the straw that breaks the camels back. She drops to the floor and curls up against the bed. It’s too much; too familiar for comfort, she wants everything to go away for tonight, wants to be herself again, wants someone else in control, just this once. (She wants her back.)

Chick needs to not be the one holding it all together for once. She's trying to look after Critic, but Michaud and The Other Chick make it pretty difficult. And once again my grammar takes a hit to convey stream-of-conscious.

She pulls the pictures out from the drawer they’ve been left in. There’s only a few, and they’re dog eared and smeared from late nights or mornings like this, with too much liquor and not enough control to do otherwise.The first picture is of Nella in their (then) new apartment, looking around speculatively. She looks as though she’s sizing the place up, and Chick knows that after this photo was taken Nella grabbed her apron and gloves and they cleaned the place top to bottom, before collapsing in a heap and watching Labyrinth until they fell asleep.

I love the idea of what they were before, and how they got to this point. A snapshot of normality, if you will, before the storm hits.