Ganked from anactoria, for a change

[keevacaereni]

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

Comments

Because I need to do something else other than bloodrunsclear related bitching and moaning...

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

"
She lets herself into Nella's room and turns on the light. Nella quiets immediately, blinking in the light from the bare bulb above. She waits patiently as Chick makes her way over to her, restrained to the bed by a chain and collar. Chick can see the welts on her neck. The sight makes her grin.

When Chick reaches her, the look in her eyes is that of a scared child. "The ponies came back. They rode around and around and up and down and over me, and the hooves bruised me. Look!" She holds out her arms, but they are clear of marks.

This is dangerous. Once Nella sees the marks are not there, she will be forced to confront her illness, and that would be unpleasant. Chick wants to protect her best girl from this.

She lays a hand on Nella's chest, slips the other into her pocket for the silver nitrate. She busies herself for a moment with the rag and her gloves and then straddles Nella on the bed, skirt riding up. "Those are awful, my dear. Let me fix you up."

The first brush against her skin marks her red, and there's the first blush of a blister when Chick runs her hand over the area. She moves to Nella's chest, dropping a kiss to her breasts before drawing the rag down her sternum. Nella screams.

Her burning skin catches the light like the last gasp of the dusk."

*Prays it isn't too many words. :)*

Re: Because I need to do something else other than bloodrunsclear related bitching and moaning...

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

She lets herself into Nella's room and turns on the light. Nella quiets immediately, blinking in the light from the bare bulb above. She waits patiently as Chick makes her way over to her, restrained to the bed by a chain and collar. Chick can see the welts on her neck. The sight makes her grin.

I love writing Nurse!Chick, as you can probably tell. She's so twisted, it's so much fun.

When Chick reaches her, the look in her eyes is that of a scared child. "The ponies came back. They rode around and around and up and down and over me, and the hooves bruised me. Look!" She holds out her arms, but they are clear of marks.

Nightmares have always fascinated me. Dark horses with flaming eyes and flaring nostrils...They're pretty interesting. And they happen to fit Nella very well.

The first brush against her skin marks her red, and there's the first blush of a blister when Chick runs her hand over the area. She moves to Nella's chest, dropping a kiss to her breasts before drawing the rag down her sternum. Nella screams.

Her burning skin catches the light like the last gasp of the dusk."

I actually did research to find the right kind of chemical for this. Silver nitrate's used to cauterise delicate wounds like arteries. The prompt gave me the idea for burns, and fire is so inelegant.

Re: Because I need to do something else other than bloodrunsclear related bitching and moaning...

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Nice to hear your insights on this. Especially the nightmares bit. :)

[cysfics.livejournal.com]

It did, but Nella always found them, and eventually word got round that you shouldn’t mess with the woman with pigtails and a bowtie shivering on the corner, because a woman with a hammer and crowbar would fuck your shit up.

This is seriously awesome.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

I wanted to do something interesting with Nella, because Em hadn't decided what was going on with her in the H!V, and her absence read suspiciously to me. Once I hit on her being Chick's pimp, it became just how awesome and scary I could make her. I thought she'd like easy to explain, blunt weapons. More pain, less chance of being picked up by the bobbies. And no one gets to hurt Chick but her, dammit.

[cysfics.livejournal.com]

I really love this interpretation. It's so... deliciously manipulative.

[taekarado.livejournal.com]

The human gasps in a breath, though whether through oxygen deprivation or stimulation, he doesn't know. He cannot determine the cause without further evidence, and without a cause he cannot establish the best way to achieve his goal. There is something ironic about using pleasure to destroy his foe. The incongruousness of it amuses him.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

I didn't really know if I could write Mechakara, especially with sex involved. I figure he'd like the irony of it. And he seems to be pretty thorough, in figuring out how to kill people.

[emeriin.livejournal.com]

She doesn’t remember on purpose. It gets to her, sometimes, when she’s had a hard night and Critic’s acting up, when Film Brain is back at his home and can’t be there to brighten the room with his awkwardness. Tonight’s been one of those nights, and the whiskey’s hitting a little bit harder than usual and so it gets to her, needling away at her heart like that one splinter you can’t ever get to.

She doesn’t want to remember. (This is part of the reason why Film Brain’s smile hurts somewhere deep inside.)

But Critic smacked a customer for going too far and got a black eye and a cut beneath for it, and Michaud had threatened to cut her off again and she’s tired, so tired. Penny’s still sniffing about and Chick is tired of that too. She’s had enough of this life, had enough of the club and all its inhabitants to the point where she’s sick from it.

She gets back to her apartment in the dingy light of dawn and the lock on the door is broken. When she checks the mattress the money is gone and it’s the straw that breaks the camels back. She drops to the floor and curls up against the bed. It’s too much; too familiar for comfort, she wants everything to go away for tonight, wants to be herself again, wants someone else in control, just this once. (She wants her back.)

She pulls the pictures out from the drawer they’ve been left in. There’s only a few, and they’re dog eared and smeared from late nights or mornings like this, with too much liquor and not enough control to do otherwise.The first picture is of Nella in their (then) new apartment, looking around speculatively. She looks as though she’s sizing the place up, and Chick knows that after this photo was taken Nella grabbed her apron and gloves and they cleaned the place top to bottom, before collapsing in a heap and watching Labyrinth until they fell asleep.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

She doesn’t remember on purpose. It gets to her, sometimes, when she’s had a hard night and Critic’s acting up, when Film Brain is back at his home and can’t be there to brighten the room with his awkwardness. Tonight’s been one of those nights, and the whiskey’s hitting a little bit harder than usual and so it gets to her, needling away at her heart like that one splinter you can’t ever get to.

Oh, run-on sentences, how do I love thee, let me count the ways...

Obviously, this was for you, and I know you like your angst. :P I think Chick doesn't like to think about Nella much, but obviously, some nights just get you down.

She gets back to her apartment in the dingy light of dawn and the lock on the door is broken. When she checks the mattress the money is gone and it’s the straw that breaks the camels back. She drops to the floor and curls up against the bed. It’s too much; too familiar for comfort, she wants everything to go away for tonight, wants to be herself again, wants someone else in control, just this once. (She wants her back.)

Chick needs to not be the one holding it all together for once. She's trying to look after Critic, but Michaud and The Other Chick make it pretty difficult. And once again my grammar takes a hit to convey stream-of-conscious.

She pulls the pictures out from the drawer they’ve been left in. There’s only a few, and they’re dog eared and smeared from late nights or mornings like this, with too much liquor and not enough control to do otherwise.The first picture is of Nella in their (then) new apartment, looking around speculatively. She looks as though she’s sizing the place up, and Chick knows that after this photo was taken Nella grabbed her apron and gloves and they cleaned the place top to bottom, before collapsing in a heap and watching Labyrinth until they fell asleep.

I love the idea of what they were before, and how they got to this point. A snapshot of normality, if you will, before the storm hits.